The FBI people check the prison transportation vehicle to check that no-one has sneaked inside and cellotaped themselves to the ceiling, or hidden underneath disguised as a wheel
More money is exchanged for favours and drugs mainly
How tight can chains be pulled, for God's sake man; Alcatraz
Death or plumbing?
So my choice is 'Or Death?'
Not San Fran, nooooo, apparently not
And you're a city of snakes I see
And it really shifts it your fog
Faster than your taxis, of which there are five
Four leavers that do fuck all!
It's not drag queen, no, gay men have got that covered
It's male lesbian
Running, jumping, climbing up trees, putting on make up when you get there
What? Fuck off! He seemed to say
Did I leave the gas on? No, I'm a fucking squirrel
Fucking nuts, fed up with them always, I long for a grapefruit
They get hold of them by going to their grandads arsenal
The National Rifle Association says that guns don't kill people, people do, but I think the gun helps
Standing there going bang, isn't gonna kill to many people
But yeah, shooting clay pigeons, I think yeah, go for that, clay pigeons are fuckers!
Theres not much make up in the army is there, just that night time look and that's a bit slapdash
What could be more surprising than the first battalion transvestite brigade?
I was surprised, were you surprised, I was surprised!
He was living in a cave, like you do
I'm much more of an executive transvestite
I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from!
We've re-decorated this building to how it looked over fifty years ago! People are going no surely not, no one was alive then
You think we all live in castles, and we do all live in castles! We've all got a castle each. We're up to here with fuckin castles. We long for a bungalow or something
Better make it a bit bigger, they've actually got them here and they're not made of plastic
I wanna work in a sewer and discover sewage that no one has ever discovered, pile it on my head and sell myself to an art gallery
What the fuck have you been smoking, eh?
Everyone's gonna say come on down to the library, we'll have a wild time! Don't know where that fuckin book is mate, could be anywhere! There's a lot of 'em about!
Hi, I'm crazy Eddie! I put babies on spikes!
Wanna rack a baby?
They taste of chicken, they do, babies taste of chicken
The ottoman empire, full of furniture for some reason
Hitler never played risk when he was a kid
Hitler was a vegetarian and a painter...so he must have been going "I can't get zee fackin treez... damn, I will kill everyone in zee world!
Hitler ended up in a ditch, covered in petrol on fire, so thats fun, I think thats funny!
Fun! What a bastard!
He was a mass murdering fuck head, as many important historians have said
Hitler killed people next door.... stupid man!
Get up in the morning, death death death death death, lunch, death death death, afternoon tea, death death, quick shower
Just don't go into that house
We stole countries with the stunning use of flags
I claim India for Britain' 'You can't claim us, there's 500 million of us, this is our country!' 'Do you have a flag?'
No flag, no country, that’s the rule I just made up!
Because its a bad idea when cousins marry
You're a plumber, what on earth is that?
I love the smell of Europe in the morning!
Zooms, throw the zooms!
Since then theyre a bit spiky and well, French
Theres kids with beards, its getting ok!
Ciow!
Come on Europe give these countries back!
We need the Falkland Islands...for strategic sheep purposes
They set off in Plymouth and landed in Plymouth, how lucky is that?
No we don't want any of your food, just put some clothes on
I didn't do it, I was dead at the time, I was on the moon with Steve!
People in the room will go, what a strong personality, I like to have sex with people with strong personalities
Perjury nine is when you said you shagged someone when you didn't
So, yes, so
We had the pagans and they were into sex, death and religion in an interesting night time telly kind of way
They built Stone Henge, One of the biggest henge's in the world
Before Stone Henge there was Wood Henge and Straw Henge, but a big bad wolf came and blew em down and three little piggies were re-located to the projects
No one knows what the fuck a Henge is!
Its built in an area called Solsbury plain in the south of England and the area of Solsbury plain where they were built its very ahhhahhhahhhohhhohhhohhh
Remember this is BC um muh wuh
You didn't have to wind your watch back, you had to get a new bloody watch
Heave, everyone, heave! Well done, everyone, you're doing VERY well. You'll love it when you see it. I've seen some of the drawings already, it's very special
Two hundred miles in this day and age, I don't even know where I live now
Jeff the God of biscuits, and Simon the God of hairdos
The emperor fabulous put that into operation
I am the emperor fabulous, oh yes so you are, and my son fabulous the second, and him really interesting guy
I'm gonna marry my first wife then divorce her, now I know what you're thinking but stick with me my story gets better, I'm gonna marry my second wife then cut her head off, ahhhh not expecting that are ya, ha ha, third wife gonna shoot her, fourth wife put her in a bag, fifth wife into outer space, sixth wife on a rotisamat seventh wife made of jam eighth wife oh ha oh ha oh!
What have you been reading? The gospel according to saint bastard
Henry the eighth, who was Sean Connery for this film
Then I will set up a new religion in this country, I will set up the Psychotic Bastard religion. And an advisor said why not call it church of England sir?
Guns don't kill people, manoeuvres do
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